Raw...

I'm sad.

I've been sad for a while now...

I don't know why.

There is no reason for it.

We have been so blessed this year.

Both Greg and I have received promotions in a time where so many are losing their jobs or not making enough money.

We have been able to move to North Carolina and I have absolutely fallen in love with this area!

It's beautiful and I can imagine spending the rest of my life here.

We get to go back to Colorado for Christmas!

For the first time in I don't know how long all of my siblings PLUS their spouses and kids (the only one missing will be Porter) will all be in the same house at the same time!

 All four of us were together last August for Cassie's college graduation, but the kids/spouses were mostly absent.

 

 

The thing I'm most excited about is I get to talk to my son for the first time since Mother's Day.

I've really been missing him recently and I can't wait to just talk to him.

I know he's where he needs to be, but I miss him like crazy!



I know how blessed I am. I know how much worse it could be for my family. I've lived the worse that it could be! And still... I'm sad.

I keep reminding myself of what Jenny (aka The Bloggess) says: "...depression is a lying bastard..."

Between commitments I had this summer before we moved and the move, I haven't slowed down since early May.

There has been no recharging of my batteries. No time taken to sit in the quiet and just be.

I have also managed to gain 15-20 pounds this year. I know most of it is because of stress. I gain weight when I'm stressed.

(Fun Fact: I can eat right and workout everyday and still gain weight if there is enough stress in my life.)

I know that part of what I'm feeling is dread at going home and having to face my family after having gained all this weight. I don't want anyone to see me like this, especially them...

I'm posting this because I need to remind myself that depression is a lying bastard!

My life is great right now.

I will pull through this. I'm stronger than the lies depression is telling me right now.

I will feel happy again.