My Porter

In my post yesterday, I mentioned my son, Porter is on a mission for our church.

 He left August 18, 2010 and he won't return until August of 2012.

(For those of you who don't want to do the math, that's still 10 months away...)

His mission is a two year commitment.

I'm so proud of him.What he's doing isn't easy.

But...
I miss him like crazy.

Porter is kind, generous, compassionate.

He has a fun sense of humor, a huge heart, the ability to love unconditionally,

...and a great laugh.

We get letters and emails from Porter every week and we get to talk (Skype if we're lucky) to him twice a year - on Mother's Day and Christmas Day.

That's all the communication we get. And I understand why.
The church wants missionaries to focus on what they are there to do.
I get it.

But...
There is a hole in my heart because he's not here.

A mission requires sacrifice - for all involved.
Porter is sacrificing 2 years of his life to serve the Lord.
We are sacrificing 2 years with him so he can serve the Lord.
And it's worth it.

Every day he's out there he is learning and growing.
I can't begin to explain the exponential growth that he has gone through in the past 14 months.

He's learned to trust the Lord.
To follow the promptings of the Spirit - to follow where it guides.
He's learned to put his needs aside and be concerned about the needs of his fellow man.

He's gained confidence in himself. He is learning to be a leader.
But most importantly, he's learned the true JOY you feel when sharing the gospel.

Sacrifice is giving up something of great value...

...for something of far greater value.

Thank you Porter for giving these two years of your life to your Savior.
I know He will accept your sacrifice.

I will freely sacrifice unto thee: I will praise they name, O Lord: for it is good.
Psalms 54:6

linking up with lovelinks

Sunday Reflections: Beautiful

It's all I think when I look at my children. It constantly amazes me how different all three of my kids are. They each bring something different to our family. I'm grateful for all of them. Our family wouldn't be complete if any one of the three were missing.

Porter came into my life when he was seven. He moved in with his Dad and I when he was 11. What a blessing he's been to our family. Right now he's on a 2 year mission for our church. He's been out since August of 2010. We haven't seen him since the day he got on the plane. And we only get to talk to him twice a year on Mother's Day and Christmas Day. I am so proud of him and I miss him so much. He has overcome so many trials to become the man he is today.



Jordin came into my life when she was six. She was independent and spunky and wanted everyone to know she could handle anything that came her way. She just moved in with us this summer and I'm so grateful she's here! We've had so much fun together. She's still independent and spunky, and she definitely can handle anything that comes her way. I've watched her go through some really hard stuff and come out the other side of it stronger than ever.




The day Jay was born I knew I was in trouble. She was a little early and had some fluid in her lungs so the nurse put a tube down her throat to suction the fluid out. She pulled it out but Jay still had fluid in there. She tried to put the tube back down there but Jay clamped down on it and wouldn't let her. She was all of 10 minutes old at this point. Fifteen years later, she's still just like that strong willed baby. She knows what she wants and she wants to figure out how to get it all on her own. She's stronger than she knows, and that iron will of hers is going to take her where ever she wants to go.

They are so much of my joy and I will be eternally grateful I can call them mine.

                                      2 Nephi 2:25

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

Road Trip

Last weekend the girls (Jay and Jordin) and I drove up to West Virginia for the weekend. We were supposed to leave Thursday night, but because of an "OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY IS MY HEAD GOING TO EXPLODE?!?!?!" headache, we left on Friday.

I just love the rolled out of bed look, don't you?

Even with the delayed start good times were had by all. We left dark and early at 6:30 am Friday morning. Our first stop Chick-fil-A. We got breakfast milkshakes, chicken and tater tots. It was yummy!!

Isn't she sweet?

After our power breakfast, we hit the open highway to make the long-ish treck to West Virginia. Conversations ensued, naps were taken (don't worry, Jay woke me up before I ran the car into anything) and semi truck drivers were persuaded to honk their horns.

We stayed with my awesome friends Heidi...

















And Morgan...

And Wade.

I thought I had an awesome picture of Wade with pink hair but I can't find it.

If I find it, I'll update it here.

We had a great time. We went on a midnight donught run and stayed up talking and laughing. We watched movies and ate at my favorite restaurant, Habanero. While we were there the Macarana (not sure how to spell that) came on their radio. So, of course my girls had to get up and actually DO the Macarana. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. They were a hit.

Taken with my camera phone. Bad picture, but you get the idea...

After lunch it was time to get ready for Homecoming. (Did I mention it was Homecoming weekend?)


Hair was curled, 

pictures were taken,

and the girls had a great time at the dance.


Sunday we went to church and it was awesome to see everyone again. Especially my Young Women. I can't believe how much I miss them! After church, it was time to go home. The leaving is the worst part of any trip. On the way home, we listend to a ton of great music, thanks to the girls. (Sill waiting for my playlists ladies....) And there was more talking and laughing and ice cream. I think we have a new road trip tradition. We got home pretty late Sunday night and had to get up early Monday morning. That was hard, but it was totally worth it!

Thanks again Heidi, Wade and Morgan for letting us crash with you! Let's do it again soon!  *Nov 11* ahem.

Thank You

Last week marked the 4 year anniversary of the passing of an amazing man.

Thank you JD for raising your your son with integrity.
Thank you for hanging in there through his rebelous years.
Thank you for teaching him it's not how a child comes into your life but that they come into your life that matters.
Thank you for recognizing the truth of the gospel when you heard it and choosing to be baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Thank you for sticking with church all those years even though it couldn't have been easy.
Thank you for bringing me into the family with open arms and love.
Thank you for always making me feel welcome.
Thank you for always being the first to laugh and enjoy life.
Thank you for starting family traditions that we carry on today.
Thank you for working hard and teaching by example.
Thank you for picking out JJ's last birthday present from you yourself. She still talks about how special that pig is to her because of the effort put into it.
Thank you for teaching your son to be generous and giving.
Thank you for showing him how to be a good dad and to love unconditionally.
Thank you for teaching your son the importance of the temple and eternal families.

I can't wait to see you again.

And Then She Turned 19

Today is my daughter's 19th birthday. She's an amazing girl. She's got a huge heart, she's full of compassion, kindness, love. She works hard and finds the joy in life. She's a wonderful artist and I love seeing her art work. I'm enormously jealous of her talent!! She loves to bake and is wonderful at that too. In fact, I'm hoping there is banana bread when I get home from work. I planted that seed right before bed last night. (My evil genius has no limits!) She works hard and (mostly) doesn't complain about it.

I married her dad when she was 6 years old and she was pretty sure she didn't need a step-mom. I was pretty sure she was still hoping Mom and Dad would get back together and who could blame her? Anyway the years that followed were happy, sad, full of joy and heartache. When she wasn't with us, I wished she was and when she was struggling, I cried because I couldn't go to her and give her a hug. She's been through a lot in her short life. And through it all she's been able to keep her compassion, sense of humor, and her ability to find joy.

She came out for an extended visit this summer and that turned into moving in. And I couldn't be happier. We spent years trying to build a relationship with each other. And in the past few months, it's blossomed! She is even more awesome than I ever knew. My favorite thing she does is when she wanders into my room and sits down on the bed next to me. That's when I know she wants to talk. I *love* those moments. They are precious and our time for them is limited.

She's at a crossroads in her life. She's making big decisions right now and trying to find her direction for the next few years. I have no doubt she will find her way and do it with her typical excitement for life. She's an adventure seeker and after all, what is life but the best adventure we have?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDIN! I know you are supposed to make a wish, but my wish for you is that where ever you go and what ever you do, you find your true love and joy.

I love you!!

Baby Jordin

Jordin about the time she came into my life. That's her older brother next to her. (More about him later).

Letterboxing in Harper's Ferry this summer.

Beautiful!

Just another Saturday...

*My apologies to anyone who also reads my daughter's blog. You've probably already heard this story.

The family went to IKEA on Saturday afternoon. I have to say I wasn't fully prepared for the experience I was about to have. Let's start at the beginning. Jordin needed a bed and dresser. Jay needed a desk, so I, in my infinite wisdom, suggested we go to IKEA. I had heard it was a great place to get inexpensive furniture that looked nice. So we piled in the Suburban and off we went.

Once on the highway, I realized Jay didn't have her seat belt on. She's had an aversion to seat belts for a couple of years now. Being tired of this battle I decided to hit her where it hurt. I told her that if I had to tell her to put her seat belt on again I would take her phone away for a week. 

We got to IKEA-land and I immediately started to question my wisdom. It was insanity. At this point I have to say the inventors of IKEA are genius. They laid out the store so you HAVE to walk through the entire thing to check out! To those people, I say you are brilliant. And probably responsible for driving several parents crazy from hearing, "Ooooohhhhhh! I want that!!" a million times in the 15 hours it takes to get from the front door to the check out. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. 

After paying Greg and Jordin started loading everything into the car and found that the mattress and box springs we bought weren't going to fit IN the Suburban, so they tied it to the top of the car with the twine provided by the store. Anytime we're driving with anything strapped to the top of the car I get nervous. As we're pulling away, I ask Greg if he's sure it's secure. He sighed the sigh of the unjustly questioned and said it was fine.

Being a control freak woman, I decided to keep an eye on things in the side view mirror. After the 3rd 5th 10th time I asked Greg if he was sure it was okay, he told me to let him know if it looked like it was starting to float. I immediately told him it looked like it was floating. Sighing another sigh of the unjustly persecuted, he pulled to the shoulder of the highway and tightened everything down and off we went again. 

Still nervous, I kept watch in the mirror. I had just finished telling Greg that it looked like the box springs was being pulled up by air when we all heard a weird noise. I looked back to the mirror in time to see the box springs floating vertically in the air behind us! Greg pulled to the shoulder and backed up as much as possible. Then hopped out of the car to try to get the mattress and box springs off the highway. The highway was four lanes across. The box springs landed right in the middle of the highway and the mattress made it all the way to the other shoulder. 

I don't think I can really describe the feelings going through me as I watched my husband defy death by running across the highway 4 times. Although the point where he stopped and did something resembling jumping jacks to make sure the cars barreling toward him knew he was there was interesting. Miraculously, both the mattress and box springs were fine (although the corner of the mattress did get run over by 1 car).

So now Greg and I are standing on the side of the highway trying to figure out how to get everything IN the Suburban because that's our only option. We had to fold down the middle seat (aka: where the girls were sitting) so everything fit. We wrestled both items into the car, moved Jordin to the front seat with me and Jay sat in the back squished in with the furniture boxes. I just kept praying we would make it home without catching the attention of any cops. Because the only thing that could make the day any crazier would be a ticket.

The best part of the day? When we were almost home Jay says, "Hey Jordin, remember the time your mattress got run over by a car?" We didn't stop laughing the rest of the way home.

My Eternal Sweetheart

My husband is a good sport. Any man who lives with 3 women (1 wife, 2 teenage daughters) has to be! Since our move to North Carolina, he's been picked on more than usual which is saying something. There was the time I took the picture of him in his sleep mask (because he worked nights and slept during the day) and JJ posted it on Facebook...

Or the time we filmed him falling asleep in church. (Sadly I don't have that video anymore). And the countless times he's said something completely innocent and the 3 of us start giggling and can't stop. Usually he just stands there and stares at us.

But he's also full of awesomeness. He took us to dinner and the movies because he knew we needed to get out of the house. He bought JJ ice cream to reward her for working so hard in school. He took Jordin to Waffle House for no other reason than he wanted to spend time with her. He hugged me while I cried when I found out we didn't get our home loan and I had a minor panic attack. He danced with me in the living room just because. He sings along with us at random times and he can still make me laugh after 13 years. Not just chuckle, but really big belly laughs. I've found it's the little moments like these that the love I feel for him completely overwhelms me. 

I want our daughters to understand how lucky they are to have him as a father and pray that they marry someone just as wonderful as him. I want our son to turn out just like his dad. I can't think of anything better than that for him.

Thank you Greg for 13 wonderful years. I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with you!

Moving Angst

We recently moved to North Carolina from West Virginia. And by recently I mean 5 weeks ago. Did I mention that I have a 15 year old daughter who is a sophomore in high school? I'm pretty sure she is plotting our deaths right now.

My husband was promoted and in his company promoted is synonymous with "time to move". The last time he was promoted we moved from Colorado to West Virginia. But I digress. We weren't given a lot of time to get organized and move before Greg had to start (2 weeks) so we started looking for a house right away. We found the perfect house for us and immediately put an offer on it. We were so excited. The timing of everything meant that we would have to live in temporary housing for about 2 weeks until we could close on the house. We are still in the temporary house 5 weeks later.

Unfortunately, the only temporary house we could find is in another town about 45 minutes away from my daughter's high school. So we've had to get up extra early to get her to school. Did I mention that she has an early morning class (Seminary) she attends for church? It starts at 6:10 am M-F. So we're getting up at 4:30 am to get her to Seminary on time. She's been a real trooper in all of this. She gets up, gets ready and doesn't complain (most of the time). Usually she has to wake me up!

She's endured 5 weeks of way too early mornings and long days filled with driving, school and homework. She's made an effort to meet people, and have a good attitude. Some days are better than others in that department, but I would have to say the same for me. We've yanked her away from all of her friends and her school.

Yesterday, we found a house to rent that is in her school district and meets our needs. We sign the lease today and move in on Saturday. I watched JJ go from a generally good mood to withdrawn and really crabby. I thought she would be happy to be in a house close to school so she wouldn't have to get up so early. I couldn't figure out why she was so mad. I stewed over it all night and finally figured it out.

Moving into a permanent house means it's real. There is no going back to what was. As long as we were in a temporary house, there was a part of her, no matter how small, that hoped we would end up back in West Virginia. Yesterday crushed that hope for her. It brought back all the heartache she's been dealing with and made it new again.

I can't make it better. I can't take the hurt away. I want with everything I am to be able to fix it and make her better, but I can't. I can only say this: JJ you are one of the strongest, best kids I know. You are you no matter what. You live life and find whatever joy there is to be had. And you've taught me how to do that to. You will start to feel better. You will make new friends and be able to keep your West Virginia friends. You will get through this and be stronger for it. I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it.

Keep being awesome. I love you!!