Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Moving Angst

We recently moved to North Carolina from West Virginia. And by recently I mean 5 weeks ago. Did I mention that I have a 15 year old daughter who is a sophomore in high school? I'm pretty sure she is plotting our deaths right now.

My husband was promoted and in his company promoted is synonymous with "time to move". The last time he was promoted we moved from Colorado to West Virginia. But I digress. We weren't given a lot of time to get organized and move before Greg had to start (2 weeks) so we started looking for a house right away. We found the perfect house for us and immediately put an offer on it. We were so excited. The timing of everything meant that we would have to live in temporary housing for about 2 weeks until we could close on the house. We are still in the temporary house 5 weeks later.

Unfortunately, the only temporary house we could find is in another town about 45 minutes away from my daughter's high school. So we've had to get up extra early to get her to school. Did I mention that she has an early morning class (Seminary) she attends for church? It starts at 6:10 am M-F. So we're getting up at 4:30 am to get her to Seminary on time. She's been a real trooper in all of this. She gets up, gets ready and doesn't complain (most of the time). Usually she has to wake me up!

She's endured 5 weeks of way too early mornings and long days filled with driving, school and homework. She's made an effort to meet people, and have a good attitude. Some days are better than others in that department, but I would have to say the same for me. We've yanked her away from all of her friends and her school.

Yesterday, we found a house to rent that is in her school district and meets our needs. We sign the lease today and move in on Saturday. I watched JJ go from a generally good mood to withdrawn and really crabby. I thought she would be happy to be in a house close to school so she wouldn't have to get up so early. I couldn't figure out why she was so mad. I stewed over it all night and finally figured it out.

Moving into a permanent house means it's real. There is no going back to what was. As long as we were in a temporary house, there was a part of her, no matter how small, that hoped we would end up back in West Virginia. Yesterday crushed that hope for her. It brought back all the heartache she's been dealing with and made it new again.

I can't make it better. I can't take the hurt away. I want with everything I am to be able to fix it and make her better, but I can't. I can only say this: JJ you are one of the strongest, best kids I know. You are you no matter what. You live life and find whatever joy there is to be had. And you've taught me how to do that to. You will start to feel better. You will make new friends and be able to keep your West Virginia friends. You will get through this and be stronger for it. I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it.

Keep being awesome. I love you!!


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